Peace...in surrender? Really?

When I think of the word surrender, as I have lived it most of my life, the first thought that comes is DEFEAT, then comes the word PAIN. My experience of surrender has always meant giving in to authority, giving up your freedom to choose, to feel or even to be physically and emotionally safe. As a child, forced to surrender, I often merely collapsed and accepted what was to come; after all, what else was I to do? As I grew and found means of control, a push to surrender sparked rebellion and teeth grinding determination. Exercising control gave me a feeling of power and safety which gave me a high that became quite addictive. When teenage rebellion and attitude no longer suited my age, I needed to find other means of control not only to feed my addiction but also to guard myself against recognizing and having to deal with all my unhealed wounds.

As I began to enter into a more honest relationship with God, I started to hear this word surrender more often. Surrender? Surrender to someone you can't see or hear? Surrender to someone who has the ability to do absolutely anything they want to??? Try again! How blessed I am that God is full of mercy and grace and is willing to meet me right where I am at.

Over the last few years, God has be willing to show me His heart. He has wooed me into the desert while He has demonstrated His love for me. He has allowed me to see and experience His presence through His Word, through worship and through His children. All He has asked of me is that I would choose to receive Him, that I would intentionally invite Him in, and by doing that, God put back into place the very thing that had been taken from me...freedom. Day by day as I invite Him into my life, into my pain, into my choices, He continues to show up in ways that teach me of His perfect love. He doesn't demand my surrender, He invites it. And, as I begin to trust His perfect love, I begin to understand that God's intentions for me are good, pleasing and perfect.

Surrendering, like everything else, is a process and is often not easy as a matter of fact, sometimes it is downright painful. But every time I fully surrender a piece of my life to Him I find great comfort and yes, even peace as I lean into my Abba Father who says to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me."